Article by ICG member Preriit Souda
Let’s meet – in person!
Recently an Italian colleague revealed she has a deep distrust of people who use background images on a video call. I asked her why. She said she feels the person at the other end is trying to conceal something. She added that using a background makes it look unreal, and in a world where person-to-person interaction is dwindling, she feels less able to connect when the background is fake.
She has a valid point. While I understand that someone might not have a professional background or might be sitting in not-so-shareable surroundings, not blurring the background nor using a cartoonish concoction of a background allows me to feel a greater connection to the person at the other end.
Meeting in person gives you insight into the person beyond what they say or how they say it. Meetings are not just about what’s said during the meeting, but often what happens before and after. You might find that the coffee you like is also the one your meeting partner likes, or you might discover they come from the same part of the world your grandfather came from. At times you may very well forget what the meeting was about, but you will remember that person for the details that weren’t meant to matter.
Once I met a colleague in New York whom I’d known for several years prior but had never met in person. An older woman, she hugged me in greeting. She explained that she was a hugger, although she realized I was not. While initially I felt uncomfortable, I also felt good for the affection she showed me. I don’t remember what we discussed that day – but I still remember that she’s a hugger.
The way someone acts, reacts, moves their eyes, shakes your hand – the subtle clues they give can indicate a lot more than what video calls can reveal. You can connect at a level at which electrons traveling at the speed of light cannot.
Recently one of our colleagues was going through a personal crisis. When this person was asked whether she was okay on a video call, with a smile she responded that all was good and even went on to talk about just how good everything was. But when we had the same conversation in person, it was a different experience. With tears in her eyes, she revealed deep concerns about some personal issues in her life.
Online systems help us connect to faraway lands but are unable to connect us at a human level. By its very definition, meeting in person creates that essential human connection.